GARYseum
  The on-line GARYDAVIDSON Museum   -   One Person, Many Talents...



PUPPET PARLIAMENT




Kevin ColdBear THE COLD-BEAR REPORT

Hosted by Kevin COLD-BEAR (Duzza Bear), THE COLD-BEAR REPORT pushes the boundaries of puppet propriety and satirical propaganda.









Stephen Harper STEPHEN HARPER

Like a ghost from the past, or perhaps a cockroach you just can't kill, comes STEPHEN HARPER.   Former Prime Minister of Canada, current head of the INTERNATIONAL DEMOCRATIC UNION, Harpo (Pinnochio) is no stranger to irony, particularly since Nations that have the "Democratic" in them tend to be brutal regimes of censorship and human rights abuses.   This could be why he's so often congratulating brutal dictators when they "win" elections.









Justin Trudeau JUSTIN TRUDEAU

Current Prime Minister of Canada and fella whose been hugging trees so long you'd think he was one of them (see what I did there?) JUSTIN TRUDEAU is just like every other former Drama Teacher turned Politician, woke to such an extreme you sometimes want to beat him with a stick!









ANDREW SCHEER ANDY SCHEER

His policies are so out of date you'd think he was a 2nd generation clone of Howdy Doody, and he sounds like someone reanimated a rubber chicken, yup its closet American Sleeper Agent and Leader of the Republican North party, Andrew Scheer.









ERIN O'TOOLE ERIN O'TOOLE

His policies are so out of date you'd think he was a 3rd generation clone of Howdy Doody, he couldn't be whiter if he slept in bleach nightly, and when you challenge his lack of facts he disappears like a scared rabbit into a magician's hat, yup, it's the latest forgettable Leader of the Republican North party, ERIN O'TOOLE.   And when he's finally replaced the puppet won't be changed since they're mostly a party of clones!









THOMAS MULCAIR/JAGMEET SINGH THOMAS MULCAIR/JAGMEET SINGH

Bearded and full of fairy tales and false promises, it's the leader of the NDP - whoever that happens to be these days.   For almost 70 years they've campaigned like they were going to form Government and couldn't even hold onto the Official Opposition longer than 5 years.   Whether it's THOMAS MULCAIR or JAGMEET SINGH (YooPee), these guys take fake outrage to enormously earnest levels, like an angry After School Special!









BLOQ QUEBECOIS BLOQ QUEBECOIS

The only thing funnier than JUST FOR LAUGHS is a Quebec politician belonging to a Federal party formed to tear the Federation apart!   That's why any member or leader for the BLOQ QUEBECOIS is being played by this guy (J P RIRE).   Not only is this a puppet from Montreal he even looks like one of the comedy festival's mascots!









lil' JASON KENNEY lil' JASON KENNEY

One of Alberta's big claim to fame is that they're RAT FREE, but for 80 of the last 84 years they've elected one form or another of Conservative governments.   It's almost like this ONE-PARTY STATE doesn't realize they're electing RATS now.   The worst of which is lil' JASON KENNEY (Jason KenRat).   This Oakville, Ontario born, American educated, former self-described Anti-abortion Activist, homophobe, Harpercrit and unmarried bachelor with a habit of taking state sponsored business trips to strange and distant lands in the company of other men.   Is that more hypocrisy?   Who knows?   But we picked a Rat for him, not a Duck so take that anyway you'd like!









DONALD TRUMP DONALD TRUMP

High functioning socio-path, fragile ego narcisist and someone who wouldn't know the truth if it came charging in on a white horse carrying a neon banner that read "TRUTH IS HERE", DONALD TRUMP (Donald Chump) is the world's most famous con-artist, grifter and snake oil salesman.   He's also a pooh flinging Orangutan.









OBAMA OBAMA

Former 2-term President, now reduced to a footnote by the malfeasance of the pooh flinging orangutan currently pissing all over his office, every once in a while we like to hear full sentences spoken by someone who thinks first, so this guy'll be popping up from time to time.









Dr Carl SAGAN Dr Carl SAGAN

Until they come up with a Neil Degrasse Tyson finger puppet all the science bits will be handled by the original TV Nerd, DR. CARL SAGAN.









Marty Mole MARTY MOLE

You'll know his part when you see him.









MARC GARNEAU MARC GARNEAU

Canada's first Astronaut and currently the Minister of Transportation, yeah, we've got an actual Rocket Scientist running things!









OIL LOBBY OIL LOBBY

REX will be speaking for the Oil Lobby.   A group of dinosaurs making hay on the backs of their ancestors.









LOBBYIST LOBBYIST

HAMM will speak for all the various money interests who are more interested in money than human lives.   You'd be surprised how many porkers like this there are.









JUDGE JUDGE

Before there was Punch & Judy there was Guignol from Lyon, France; and from the Guignol Puppet Museum there comes THE JUDGE.   Representing the Supreme Court or any other Legal official the JUDGE will speak from a position of authority, and usually in the couched language of someone trying to provide intelligent counsel without actually saying anything.









PAPA FRANCIS PAPA FRANCIS

Don't let the fact this is a bobble head of the Pope keep you realizing that yeah, he's going to be on screen whenever we need a religious punchline.   And before you write us a letter, we didn't make this, it's official licensed merchandise from the Vatican!









DOG SERGEANT AT ARMS DOG SERGEANT AT ARMS

Yeah, it's Canada's McGruff the Mounted Police Dog, but hey, don't you want to see a Dog riding a Horse?