There's a lot of bleating going on these days about politics.
Recently secret talks between the political parties of the far right and the center right hit a snag when word got out that the twitchy Tories were considering merging with their evil twin brother known to some as the CANADIAN ALLIANCE ( a party fondly remembered here for the brief two day stint they were known officially as the Canadian Conservative Reform Alliance Party, the anagram of which more accurately spelled CCRAP! ).
Now it's no secret that the former Reformers covet the Conservative banner as their own; just as it's no secret that most Ontarioans would rather vote NDP than let a party controlled by a bunch of western alienationist form Government.
Of course it's also become pretty clear of late that even if the right does somehow come together before Armageddon that the Liberals, with their fiscally conservative nature and progressive social policies will reign well into the 22nd Century.
Which leaves Canada in the uneviable position of being one of the only democratic countries in the world with unchallenged One Party rule. So, you might ask, how can a country survive and thrive and indeed justifyably boast about being the best place in the world to live when they have a system whereby one party rules?
Well, the secret, which the Liberal Party is just now learning, is to give the appearance of change without really having any. The trick, if they want to retain control of the country forever, will be to regularly infuse new blood into the leadership. To adopt the "Out with the old and in with the new" as a matter of state policy even if the "old" is simply the guy who currently has the job and the "new" is the next guy in line.
Canada is about to have just this sort of change. A small group of party loyalists will select a new leader who will then become Prime Minister in a party that has ruled the country for the last 10 years and most of the last century without challenge and nearly without interuption.
It used to be that Progressive Conservatives would win Federal Elections and form government every once in a while but that was before Quebec, as usual, messed everything up. No sooner had the reactionaries in the Quebec wing of the Conservative party left to form their separtist minded Bloq Quebecois than the reactionaries in the Western wing of the Conservative party rushed out to create the Reform.
Of course Quebec's dream of creating their own mess has died, or is at least withering on the unilingual vine while in the west, the Reform party continues to try one hostile take-over after another of the mother party we call Tory.
Not that it's helped them get elected. Let's face it, you can call a redneck party anything you want, but until they stop printing recipes along side the animal's names at the zoo they ain't getting elected in Ontario.
Remember back when the Conservtives were the Western Alienation party of choice? Those were the days huh? Back before Mulroney came up with those workable policies that were so prudent no Government has touched them and no government will. Policies so wise that following them ensured when the USA's economy recently went into the toilet that for once in our history Canada's did not follow.
Of course the Conservatives are still the Eastern Alienation party and the Ontarioan "Anybody but the Liberals for a change" party but then joining in with everyone else has never been a western strong suit.
So there we are. With our clean streets and universal Medi-care. With our bullet-proof economy, able to withstand black-outs and SARS and one whole Mad-Case case without slumping down the level of those pesky "Northern Mexicans" in Washington and New York. There we are. One Party, east to west with only the power base in between. Damn the Liberals and damn us all if we didn't get the Government we deserved.