In a desperate plea for closure as the year comes to an end, here's a (hopefully) final jab at some topics which don't really deserve a full tirade.
QUEER EYE FOR THE STRAIGHT GUY:
While I commend the craftiness of the plan to gain acceptance by compromising straight fashion until "GAY" is the only look men know I caution my queer brothern that this was already tried once. It was called "DISCO". Truthfully though, anybody who let's five gay men touch his things isn't that "straight" to begin with, OK?
PM FOR PM:
There is a certain advantage in not understanding a single thing your leader says, unfortunately Paul Martin speaks clear English. He's also promising a complete departure from the past ten years of Government. So instead of an IDIOT running the country SMARTLY we'll have a SMARTY running the country into the ground. You watch! Now that investors can make sense of the policy from the Prime Minister's Office they're going to run from Canada faster than Ben Johnson from a pee cup.
While I can't stand the stench of the stuff one has to wonder the logic of the dispute on this issue. The American Government wants Canada to end Marijuana smuggling into the states. Canadians want the US to end illegal firearms smuggling into Canada. One kills, the other increases chip sales.
RED PLANET ENVY:
50% of all probes to Mars have failed. Now Bush wants to send people there. Why? Did they find oil or something? Shouldn't we up the survival rate of the machines before sending anyone there or is this a final solution for the rejects from American Idol?
THE CONTINUING TRIALS OF THE TOOTH-FAIRY PARTY:
When Conservatives in the west realized they couldn't complain about the Government because their party was running things they left to create the Reform Party. After ten years of splitting the right they changed their name to the Canadian Alliance in a failed bid to attract the very people they abandoned. When the cosmetic change didn't work they changed their policies. Then, in a final, desperate bid, they abandoned the last of their reforms and swamped the Progressive Conservatives in a reverse take-over. Now they're trying to convince people to trust them. Trust who? These people don't even know who they are anymore!
WOMEN'S RIGHTS AND WRONGS:
How ticked must this group be seeing Gays get more rights, faster, without burning anything? Of course, the Queer seek inclusion rather than special treatment. Go figure?
THE ALL NIGHT PARTY:
Finally a political group the young can get behind. And with policies like "less tax on beer and cigarettes" can these people fail?
Oh right, people under 30 don't vote. Oh well, it was a nice idea.