There's a loaded question these days, huh? The question is, "Cold enough for ya?"
I don't want to hear that question anymore. Partly because 1) We're in Canada! And 2) It's Winter, so what did you expect? But mostly because my boss is a task-master and recently dragged a lot of us out onto a frozen Great Lake to shoot some footage for this years big project.
And yes, I want to stress that we were ON a frozen Great Lake! Not on the shores, not nearby, not in view of but actually on the frozen thing. The only way you get on a frozen Great Lake is if it's been cold enough to freeze a few trillion litres of water for a very long time, remember water helps even out the temperature.
So there we are, trying to shoot the establishing opening shots for SHUTTLEDOWN, spending, first hours putting together the 16 foot long crashed shuttle set and then rushing to set up the shots and get the footage we needed before Mother Nature blew the whole damn thing across the second largest inland body of fresh water in the world. That's right kiddies, I'm talking Lake Huron!
Now you wouldn't think a Canadian would have too much problem with winter, after all, we're used to it, right? It must snow at least half the year up here, right? WRONG! Most of the population of this damn country is within a hundred miles of the US Border and more than half of them are in regions that barely get two months of winter (IE: real winter being below freezing with semi-regular snow falls).
The few moronic souls actually trapped in the frozen wastelands this country has are much pitied but so small in number that they can barely form a political party before it collapses from lack of interest.
The rest of us enjoy our Tim Horton's Double, Double coffees in our heated cars between our cozy homes and reasonably well appointed offices. That is unless we're in Television and work for a sadistic bastard who insists that if the script says a Shuttle crashes in the Arctic then the actors are not only going to actually feel the cold but we're going to get as close to the Arctic as we can.
It's the old Canadian rule of "Everybody suffers"!
So we headed up there, we set things up, we shot the scenes, we broke it all down and then retreated to the warmth of our rented accomodations, except... There was no heat there either. You see, someone had gotten into the place a few hours ahead of us and left two prominent windows open, which froze the pipes, which burst from the expanding water, which took out the plumbing and heating.
So unless you're living in a shack near a frozen Great Lake and you've had the windows open until the pipes have burst and the place has no hot water I don't want to hear how fricking cold it is! I've been there, I've got pictures and I bought the T-Shirt. I'd show you the T-Shirt but it's under three layers of thermals while I try to stay warm!
And next time my boss asks me if I'd like to go along to a major location shoot I'm going to read the damn script first, unless it says "Barbados" I'm passing.